“As we have seen, deconstruction asserts that our experience of ourselves and our world is produced by the language we speak, and because all language is an unstable, ambiguous force-field of competing ideologies, we are, ourselves, unstable and ambiguous force-field of competing ideologies. The self-image of a stable identity that many of us have is really just a comforting self-delusion, which we produce in collusion with our culture, for culture, too, wants to see itself as stable and coherent when in reality it is highly unstable and fragmented. We don’t really have an identity because the word “identity” implies that we consist of one, singular self, but in fact we are multiple and fragmented, consisting at any moment of any number of conflicting beliefs, desires, fears, anxieties,and intentions. However, as we grown up , we internalize through language the ideological conflicts and contradictions of our culture, each finding a way to “fit in” by finding a way to deny, both to ourselves and others, the fragmented experience of ourselves produced by the fragmented, ambiguous language within which we live.”
“modesty of feeling, continual fantasy life, moral purity without relation to everyday morality but all the more rigorous, eternal adolescent love of tests and trials, intoxication, pride, and regret at feeling oneself “outside” society, refusal of and desire to become integrated—and, finally, acceptance—or refusal — of the world as it is.”
(truffaut on james dean, characterizing adolescence. )
。
黃皓中，我真的很愛很愛你／雖然我的愛可能於你無益
/ 我們唱別人的情歌 只因為自己的都太沈重 /我們說別人的故事 只因為自己的都太難懂 /我 們只要跟別人一樣 就能得到輕微的解脫 /如果 還有一點點熱情 我們該不該盲從/
……
/what if…誰都是自己問題的答案/
what if…誰都是自己答案的問題/
……
/如果有一件事是重要的 那就是對與錯的總和/
/誰都有一輩子好好想清楚/
幾次來不及擦眼淚，都給朋友看到了。
上次聽張懸也是這樣。我軟綿綿像海綿，一隻 貓踏上去跳只舞眼淚就要擠出來。如果你見過 以前的我，你就知道我改變了幾多。讓我好好 想一想，到底我要的是什麽。
“…and get a witness; for trust and mistrust, alike ruin man.”
Hesiod, “Works and Days”, P.31
